“there is only one sin, only one. and that is theft. every other sin is a variation of theft” — from The Kite Runner.
when we kill, we steal life. when we cheat, we steal fairness. when we rape, we steal dignity.
rape is a serious offence. it leaves the victim with PTSD for life. rapists cannot be forgiven for the trauma they cause.
sidebar: i understand that as a guy i might not know what a woman goes through during tough times but the below piece is written with empathy from my side. please forgive me if i have conveyed (unintentionally) any wrong message. please reach out to me in the comments section and i will re-edit and make changes if necessary.
for every rape, not only does the woman who face it or the monster who does it fail rather, we as a society fail.
it’s not about how they dress, or how we perceive. it’s about acting on the motive.
because, crime = motive + action.
we live in a society where, unfortunate women get raped & innocent men get framed (not the person who commits the crime, i.e rape) while the culprits roam free. bad wins over good.
it’s not about HE vs SHE. it’s about being WE.
how to stop crime?
we think FEAR will stop crime. it’s true, but it’s only a half-truth.
fear will stop most crimes, BUT only when someone is watching.
what if there isn’t that “someone” — the action gets carried out, and the crime is committed.
if not fear, then what?
RESPECT.
instead of creating fear in people, let’s try to “respect” others.
respect is when we acknowledge others as human beings rather than objects of our pleasure.
we commit crime when we disrespect someone. when we think the other person is weak. we look at them not as a human being, but as a means to something — money, sexual pleasure, dominance etc.
unfortunately, we get the idea of sex early-on from porn. while watching it is not wrong, getting wrong ideas from it is.
porn is unrealistic. it shows us that we need to be perfect, aggressive, dominant which is not necessarily true in reality.
when our reality doesn’t match our expectations, we become insecure AND to mask our insecurity, we start behaving aggressively.
aggression is good, when in check. unchecked aggression leads to lack of empathy and respect. that’s a grey zone. it’s where most crimes happen. we have to eliminate it from the root. let’s eliminate toxic masculinity.
lack of respect leads to lack of consent.
sex + lack of consent = rape.
how to eliminate such behavior? by introducing sex education.
sex education is a framework. it tells us what to do, and how to do it. it’s necessary. let’s educate ourselves and others on it.
learning about consent, responsible sex, respect and empathy is what makes us a decent human being.
unfortunately, objectification of people starts in the childhood. when we view opposite gender not as humans, but as an alien race.
we went to schools where seating rows were separated by gender. it’s done so to eliminate mischief BUT that distance creates curiosity. unchecked curiosity leads to obsession. we, as a society, are stigmatizing communication between genders. if communication would’ve happened in a proper manner, empathy would’ve increased.
obsession creates motive. lack of supervision creates opportunity. and… BAM! crime.
parents, teachers, neighbors, friends, relatives — we all moral police opposite-gender friendship and way of clothing. it creates a divide. divide leads to lack of empathy and that’s when humans are NOT viewed for who they are, but as mere objects.
let’s not do that.
what else can we do?
society functions when there is an order to it. that’s why we have legal systems in place.
lack of order is disorder. true for society, true for mental health.
everybody is sexually driven. it’s the law of nature. sex drive is okay, obsession is not.
we need to understand that sexual obsession is a disorder which needs to be treated clinically. that is where psychologists and psychiatrists come in. therapy helps.
therapy is for people who require help, not for someone who has committed a heinous crime like rape & murder.
instead of criticizing people with psychological disorders (NOT RAPISTS though), let’s encourage people who suffer from sexual obsession related disorders to take help. at least, we will be stopping someone from becoming a sexual offender in the future. i don’t support and ask you to support rapists here.
I DO NOT SUPPORT RAPISTS, cause they have already committed the crime. there is no redemption for what they did or will do.
to conclude — it’s not us vs them. it’s all us. we live together, it’s our individual responsibility to function as a responsible society.
note:
- i understand rape is a very serious offence and it cannot compared with that of theft. but, in my opinion, crime is a crime either big or small. my prayers for the victims who had to suffer a lot and go through a lot.
- i believe in strict punishment to culprits but i personally believe that by shooting them at sight or hanging them (which is essential), we are giving them an easy way out. still, we have to do what we have to do. let’s hope for the justice even if the chances are slim.
